So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just pee around me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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