How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
