I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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