What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
