bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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