Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
