someone threw a dead crab at me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
