you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just had sex bonerless
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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