Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
