im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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