I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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