Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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