I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
