i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
