is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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