i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
