we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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