hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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