i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
