And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
