just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize