I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
