Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
