Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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