so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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