You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
