If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
