I got chris browned last night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
