Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend