we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy