I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
