Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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