another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
