i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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