everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
