so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
