You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
