What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
