textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
