I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
