Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
