Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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