I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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