Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm jealous of your bromance
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
