Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
