...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
