grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
