Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
