it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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