So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
