Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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