peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
