Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
