ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
