My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
