eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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