Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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