Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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