apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Never underestimate the power of titties
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
