I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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