You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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