his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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