I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
