About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize