There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
