I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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