normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
