Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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